HONEST BROKENNESS

Do you want your life to minister to people? Then stop pretending and start being who you are at the exact moment people meet you on the road of life.

Why do I tell you this?

Well because today, I started my day with my usual devotion by reading God’s word and there is a specific verse that really touched me. The kind of verse that usually we escape because we don’t feel concerned; we feel more like « uuuhhhhh this was a message for the Pharisees, not me! »

Thing is that after I long thought about it, I can confirm that this verse concerns all of us girls! (and guys actually too)

Luke 11:52

“What sorrow awaits you experts in religious law! For you remove the key to knowledge from the people. You don’t enter the Kingdom yourselves, and you prevent others from entering.”

You see, when we read this verse, we could think « Alright, is it about the way we could escape people on the road to church? Or when someone makes fun of Jesus, we don’t say anything? Or we just don’t tell people we are Christians and don’t give them access to Jesus? But this is not me, I do tell people I am Christian and I never make fun of Jesus!« . And I agree with this thought, I am a strong believer myself and as soon as I have the opportunity to tell my neighbors that I go to church and that I love Jesus, I do it.

But what if I am pointing a total other subject…?

Think of it…This is it.

We can be a strong believer, loving Jesus and telling the good news AND STILL belonging to this verse. Why? Because we often are not honest to ourselves and to people around us.

But when? When is this a time where we have not been honest to ourselves and around us?

When we hide our wounds and brokenness.

When we hide the difficulties we have in our relationships instead of humbling ourselves in front of others and just explaining that life is not easy even for Christians and we are learning.

Ok, let me be clearer.

My past relationship with my ex fiancé has been full of love and investment on both side. We were honest to each other and trying our best to make it work.

But usually, when we try by ourselves instead of leaning on God, bridges break I tell you.

I had one big issue in my life and I was dragging this probably since my young age: I was fearful. I let the fear break into my mind and never gave Jesus the opportunity to heal it.

So when things started to be more serious as we got engaged, fear crushed me like a boxer crushes his adversary on the ring.

All sort of fears; fear that he leaves me when there was so reason at all. Fear that he might become tired of me. Fear that he might meet someone better than me and on and on.

Thing is that fear is not real but it brings very often an emotion that we don’t like especially when we don’t handle it, this emotion is: anger.

I was an angry person. I was broken. But unfortunately, instead of humbling myself and recognizing my mistakes, I hid it completely. I could go to church on a Sunday morning, smiling at people and pretending everything was doing great when I actually got into a huge fight with my fiancé, one hour before (True story, on Easter day 2016…not proud of me at all). But I could also react this way with non christian people, pretending my life was great, kinda perfect, filled with joy and very soon being called « Madame A. » as I was about to get married. It was easier for me to throw a perfect picture of happiness to people instead of being true to myself and true to them: my life was as tough as their life was and I had to lean on God in order to clean up A LOT of issues before touching the goal of being a « dream boat person » in their eyes.

So what does my story have to do with this verse above?

Well, look closer: As the Pharisees, when we hide our brokenness and pretend to a certain high value as Christians, we « remove the key to knowledge from the people » around us by preventing them to see God’s healing in our life. We prevent them to see that only God is able to humble us and to transform us. We actually « don’t enter the Kingdom ourselves » by reacting this way, and by consequences, we « prevent others from entering ».

Why is it so important to open our heart and show our brokenness to the people? It’s because ourstory of life, our mistakes, our fights will be what will speak to their heart. Not our feats, not ourperfection, not our stubborn proud smile that says « Heyyyyyy, our relationship is great! Life is amazing! What about you? »

What the eck are we thinking by reacting this way? People expect honesty, and truth and kindness and comprehension from us. How can we tell them we understand their brokenness if we show them that we are never broken? How can we minister to their heart if they see us as a high level of perfection? And how even do we expect them to share their struggles if they feel like they can share nothing with us?

Today more than ever, I want to be this honest and kind woman who totally understand and is able to say « I know. I went this way too. I am imperfect and broken and I can introduce you to the only One who is able to heal you. His name is JESUS CHRIST »

Nine months passed since the day my ex fiancé broke up and cancelled our wedding. It is still painful. But there is no shame; there is only the story of an imperfect girl who trust in a perfect God.

Hold on to Him. Show your brokenness, use it as a strength and trust God in the process.

Psalm 25:21

« May integrity and honesty protect me, for I put my hope in you. »

 

Kath Leen

There Is More Co.™

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