ANGER… AGAINST IT, DO YOU HAVE A GOOD BUMPER?
« He who is slow to anger is better than the powerful. And he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city. »
« He who is slow to get angry has great understanding, but he who has a quick temper makes his foolish way look right. »
Anger…. This little 5 letters word that looks ridiculously tiny and derisive but can actually provoke irrevocable damages !
You probably know this « feeling » that shows up most of the time when you feel wronged.
Let’s first have a closer look at what is « anger », and I will tell you then my story about anger and how I am today healing from it.
Anger is everywhere and in every generation. No one is isolated from it. It can be characterized by « blowing up » or « withdrawing » ; what usually is bad in both cases. In my case, blowing up was all what I knew…
The Book UPROOTING ANGER from Robert D. Jones
says that « Anger is an active response against something (that has been done to us) and invloves a negative moral judgment that we make. It arises from our judicial sense and functions under the larger dynamic of judgmentalism. In this sense, we may call anger a « moral emotion ». Anger protests, « What you did was wrong ! » It pronounces, « That action is unjust ! » It pleads, « This must stop ! » Anger objects to wrongs committed. »
So far, I think you follow the definition and agree, don’t you ?
But one question remains… What do you actually call « wrong and unjust » in situations that bring anger to you? Is what you think « wrong » really wrong ?
We often also use the word « frustration ». I used to fool myself with this word. I thought « Well, this is technically not anger. Could I really say that I am angry ? No, I’m frustrated. » This sounds smoother…
But let’s be honest ; anger or frustration end up provoking the same result if we don’t handle them properly. The bottom line is that we are reacting to what someone wrongly did to us.
Now, what can we find in the Bible about Anger ?
Well, turn the pages and you will discover that God is both the most loving and the most angry person on our planet. Angry, God ? Well yes !!! He is angry with sinners and their sin. God’s anger is his perfect, pure, settled opposition to evil. God’s anger flows from his justice. So we can definitely recognize that his anger is not sinful but based on what is just.
Now, let’s have a closer look at our anger… As you know, anger always starts in the heart, with evil desires and wrong beliefs – Lusts and lies. So can we always say that the motive of our anger is to really make justice ? And justice to who ? Us ? God ?
And that’s all the point. Our anger is usually provoked because we are proud and self-centered and we think that everything is a due to us and when it doesn’t work our way, we explode and call for anger as justice made to us. We pretend we have the right to get angry when the only actual thing we are fighting for is our pride and lust !
« Righteous anger » is absolutely not what we pretend we stand for. As Robert D. Jones explains « accurately viewing something as offensive is not enough. We must view it primarily as offending God. Righteous anger throbs with kingdom concerns. Also, righteous anger remains self-controlled. It keeps its head without cursing, screaming, raging, or flying off the handle. Nor does it spiral downward in self-pity or despair. It does not ignore people, snub people, or withdraw from people. »
Wooooow… after having read this text in August, I remember feeling desperate and very guilty. This anger I was standing for, thinking that it was normal to react this way because I felt wronged in my relationship, was actually the worse lie I ever told myself !!!
You see folks, when A.A. and I were arguing, I was never able to settle and to find the right way to express myself.
Is that because I have been hurt for years and my anger was actually my defender ?
Is that because I grew up in a large family where I never really saw what it was to talk and calmly finding a solution ? Probably both.
I just know that I couldn’t recognize myself when I was getting angry. Neither A.A. was able to recognize me.
This person wasn’t me but was covering the real me for so many years that I wasn’t able to really know who I was and if I ever have been someone else in time of crisis.
When A.A. broke up the wedding and my world crushed down, I knew that anger would not solve anything. I knew that I had a huge problem with this tricky feeling and I knew I had now to get rid of its root in order to grow in Christ.
You see, I have always loved Jesus. And by His grace, I always knew he was forgiving me for my angry attitudes. But though He did and will keep doing it, should it be an excuse to fall into anger just because it’s easy to do so ? The answer is no, evidently.
Since that day, I fell on my knees, at the cross, and asked Jesus for His help. I have gotten help from an organization trained by Bethel Church in Redding (California), the organization SOZO what means «to save», «to heal», «to deliver ». I definitely know that a spirit of anger left me but the sinful anger still remains in each human being, including me. And this, is a work of each day.
So far, with an incredible work of God on my temper, I can tell you that I don’t even recognize myself. I am learning to live with the new « me » who starts to acclimate itself pretty good when it’s time to control the feeling of anger.
As I often say : « Anger is not a sin. It’s what you do with it that can become one ».
And only by God’s divine grace, I learn each day to come at the cross, ask God to strengthen me for the day, whatever may come and that His Spirit would help me to handle my feelings in the good way.
Four months after the storm of my life, I realize how angry sinner I have been many time in my relationship with my ex fiancé. I realize how hard it is to confront someone who is angry all the time and stressed and hurt and so how hard it was for A.A. to talk to me in such situations. I realize that we both have our part in our story, and both have to heal from personal issues, but I deeply thank him for having been calm and patient with me the time he could handle this.
Dear reader, if like me, you have a strong temper, praise God for it because this is how he made you. But ask Him also to guide you in your feelings and emotions, so that the enemy won’t be able to use you for his benefit. You are a gift from God, gifted with your own personality. Don’t try to be someone you are not, but try to cooperate with Jesus, so that He will be able to use you fully for His Kingdom. All glory to Him alone ! Amen.
There Is More Co.™